MARKET-ESE
What They Say, What They Really Mean
Copyright © 2002 Priya Shah
All of us have (and will continue to be) guilty
of using the half-truths below at some time or another. And as
long as there are newbies on the net, people will continue to
fall for these customer "pick-up" lines.
Be warned - this may not be very pleasant reading
for those that take it too seriously.
-----
What They Say:
"And you get XYZ Super Bonuses for ordering now."
What They Really Mean:
"By giving you all these worthless products that I failed to sell
I'm making it easier for you to shell out your hard-earned cash."
-----
What They Say:
"This price is only valid if you order by midnight December
31, 2002 "
What They Really Mean:
"After which the offer will continue with a different date thanks
to the brilliant little Javascript code I use"
-----
What They Say:
"This price is for a limited time only"
What They Really Mean:
"I'm wondering how long I can keep selling this overpriced stuff"
-----
And a follow-up to the above
What They Say:
"After which the price will be increased to [insert unaffordable
amount here]"
What They Really Mean:
"After which I may be forced to sell it at much lower price or
even give it away"
-----
What They Say:
"Five of your own complete internet businesses"
What They Really Mean:
"Yours and a thousand others who will soon be selling this to
one another"
-----
What They Say:
"Here are the excellent reviews that this has been getting"
What They Really Mean:
"These are the people I gave it to free - what do you expect them
to say but anything good"
-----
What They Say:
"And we have hundreds of other customer testimonials that are
not included here"
What They Really Mean:
"They include the many adverse reviews, criticisms and chargebacks
that I received, but that I don't want you to read"
-----
What They Say:
"Get Guaranteed sign-ups"
What They Really Mean:
"These are people we actually pay a dime to signup for your free
program. How else do you think we can guarantee them?"
-----
What They Say:
"Spam-free List"
What They Really Mean:
"We've never mailed these people ourselves - just harvested their
emails off various sites - so technically we haven't really spammed
them yet."
-----
What They Say:
"These are prospects who have asked to be mailed"
What They Really Mean:
"They filled in our home biz form, didn't they? So they're asking
to be spammed"
-----
Yeah, right!
Priya Shah swears she has has never been guilty
of Market-ese (OK, OK maybe just once... or twice). She is the
CEO of eBrand360.
Her areas of specialization include internet
marketing, search
engine optimization and business
blogging
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